I’ll just Facebook you
Gone are the days of texting, calling and emailing – Facebook is the new all-in-one communication tool.
A few weeks ago my friend pointed out how many numbers she no longer has in her phone since Facebook took over the world. I didn’t really think about it until I noticed that I only text the same few people regularly, and I then began to remember the days when how many numbers you had in your cell phone somehow determined how cool you were.
These days I don’t find texting people very important. I think I might text about five people on a regular basis and one of those people is my mum. And new numbers, I can’t remember the last time I got a new number from someone, because why would I? I can just Facebook them.
I used to go through my text allowance like a crazy person. I remember I once went through my entire 2000 texts in something like eight days. God only knows who or what I was texting, but now I could probably pay for each text I sent and still have dollars leftover at the end of the month.
These days, it’s no longer how many numbers you have in your phone that determines your cool factor, but rather, how many friends you have on Facebook. I used to go about amassing Facebook friends like they were money, until near-strangers, or that person you met that one time, or that person who hated you in high school who now thinks you’re worthy of a Facebook friendship, or that person you share 29 mutual friends with but have never actually met, or that person you can’t stand at work but have to accept their friend request to avoid awkward office morning teas – until all of those people’s random crap on Facebook starts annoying you so badly you decide it’s in your best interest not to have 500 people on Facebook. Cue Facebook friends cull.
Facebook is making you so unsocial that catching up with people in person is becoming a chore. Before Facebook, meeting up over a coffee or attending those drinks you don’t really want to go to but you have to because you haven’t seen them for ages becomes less important, because you can see how they are doing on Facebook, all the time. If your friends are moving overseas or going on their OE, you feel less inclined to see them off or meet up with them once they are back, because you can see their entire trip for yourself on Facebook.
My best friend moved to Australia (as they do) in February. Before Facebook the idea of the two of us living in different countries was as ridiculous as Cameron Diaz’s over-sculpted arms. But in real life, it hasn’t been that bad. I can see what she is doing all the time, on Facebook. Daily. And as much as I wish she didn’t betray her country and cross the ditch, in actual fact it has not been as difficult as I thought it would be. And that is because of Facebook. I don’t have to make an effort to be friends with my best friend. Or any of my friends. Facebook does it for me. It makes me wonder about the people you used to know, who don’t have Facebook. Do you even remember who they are? Doubtful. Do you have their cell phone number? Double doubtful.
Before Facebook your main social concern was getting texts. No texts today? Stink. Now it’s more about posting status updates or loading photos and seeing how awesome you are by how many likes you get. Who cares if you didn’t go out the entire weekend and the only person you spoke to was the lady at Countdown? You got 28 likes because you posted something funny about cats or road rage or said something uninformed about the Prime Minister.
Clearly, you are the most popular person in the room.