Love, life and public break ups - avoiding the anti-social side of social networking

  I started using social networks and forums in a big way when I was a newly single parent living seventy kilometres out of a city. It was a great way to feel connected and social without having to track down a babysitter who'd come out to me. When I discovered the wonders of internet dating, it was even better. You could find, talk and then, if you wanted, meet prospective partners with a few mouse clicks. My boyfriend and I are just part of a large group of people who've met after the odd 140 character tweet.Finding someone using social media is the easy part. Staying together while using social media is a completely different kettle of fish. With over half our adult population using a social media site, these are tips that can relate to large numbers of us.1)  Don't get jealous - Facebook and Twitter  are like a big chatty party.This is the most important step. If you're at a party with your partner, and they're chatting to someone cute, you often feel completely ok with a little harmless flirting- mainly because they'll often break eye contact, give you a quick smile, then go back to the conversaiton. If they're chatty and flirting with someone online, and they know you can see it, it's all ok. It's just like being at that party. Remember this before you try and take one of them out.2) Decide on boundaries right from the start.The ups and downs of your love life can be laid out for everyone to see if you don't work out the rules first. If you're having a serious spat, keep it off the public view. Try to avoid text-related arguments anyway- they're very easy to escalate and become a bigger issue than is merited. If the relationship breaks up, keep your meltdowns offline. Otherwise it's a little like doing it in front of a shopping mall of people. It's not pretty.3) “Facebook Official” is not compulsoryI was recently talking with a friend about her partner's refusal to become “official” on facebook. We all know of people who are in a relationship one week, then it's complicated the next, then they're single the following. Everyone has a different level of declaraiton. The important thing is to work out what yours is and stay true to it. If you want to make it official on Facebook and they don't, it's not a deal breaker. And it doesn't mean they don't love you.4) Twitter is a small New Zealand townLike every small community, gossip is rife on Twitter: stories are passed via direct messages, and when people meet in person. The basic guideline is to keep Twitter and Facebook separate from personal dramas, otherwise it will be known by everyone within hours.5) If it's getting to you, step awayEven the best of us can get the wrong end of the stick and think something is up when it's not. Step away from the computer, put the phone on silent and go swimming. Thankfully there are no social media devices available in swimming pools. Yet. [Image Credit: Turn Style News]